* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the man whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
* The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
* The optometrist back up into the glass grinder and made a spectacle of himself.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* The psychic midget who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.