Thursday, March 31, 2011

Mr Cyclops

Mr Cyclops© Rob Hood 3-31-11
I'm just a guy
With one eye
How it got in the middle
Is really a great riddle
Brought by The One on high

My anger

My anger© Rob Hood 2003
WALLS PEA GREEN
OBSCURE THE DEPTHS I'VE SEEN
MY CHILDHOOD WAS HELL
I COULDN'T END IT
I WAS AFRAID TO YELL
PARENTS DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW
ABUSE WENT ON
IT WAS A GO
DEPRESSION WAS MY OBSESSION
ANGUISH, HATRED TURNED INNER
MAKES ONE THINK
IN A PAST LIFE I WAS A SINNER
I WAS HIS SLUT
I WAS HIS TOOL
IT MADE ME A NUT
ANGER WAS MY FUEL
MUCH OF MY LIFE WAS TROUBLED
OFTEN I WAS SAD
PROBLEMS OFTEN DOUBLED
I THOUGHT THAT I WAS BAD
WE FINALLY MOVED FROM THAT HELL HOLE
IT WAS MY SAVING GRACE
MY PARENTS HADN'T TOLD ME WE WERE MOVING
OUR RELATIONSHIP HAD NO BASE
THE REASON FOR OUR MOVE
WAS MORE OF OUR KIND
WERE FOUND IN THE CITY
MY MOM LEFT HER BEST MEMORIES BEHIND
AND ALWAYS FELT THE MOVE WAS A PITY
SOME PARENTS SHOULD BE BARREN
THEIR KIDS, THEY'D BE A' SPARIN'
AS I FACE EACH DAILY TEST
I KNOW I'LL MEET WHATEVER MY QUEST
FOR I AS A CHILD
ALONE HAVE FACED
SOMETHING WILD
A BEAST ENCASED
SINCE I SURVIVED MY CHILDHOOD TEST
NOTHING WORSE WILL BEAT MY BEST

I want to bottle this day

I want to bottle this day© Rob Hood 2003
A SUNNY DAY
THE SKY WAS BLUE
THAT IS A HUE
QUITE PRETTY
THAT BECKONS TO ME
EVEN IN THIS CITY
TO NOT ENJOY SUCH A DAY
WOULD TRULY BE A PITY
THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES
ME FEEL QUITE GIDDY
THE COLORS BRILLIANT FROM THE SUN
YIELD ME ENERGY BY THE TON
IT IS QUITE A SIGHT
IT IS WARM AND BRIGHT
I'M FEELING GOOD
I'M FEELING FINE
I WANT TO BOTTLE THIS DAY
TO MAKE IT MINE

MY THOUGHTS ON STANDING IN LINE AT THE POST OFFICE

MY THOUGHTS ON STANDING IN LINE AT THE POST OFFICE©Rob Hood 2003



GET YOUR TICKET FOR THE LINE

FOURTEEN TO GO, STILL FEELIN’ FINE

KEEP ON SMILIN’, NO NEED TO PINE

I’LL BUY THE STAMPS AND THE EVENING WILL BE MINE

I’LL COME ON HOME AND GRAB A STEIN

SOME DRINK BEER, I’LL MAKE MINE WINE

SO THE DAY HAS PASSED AND SAILED

NOW I’LL FINISH THIS POEM AND GET IT EMAILED
MY LOVE ©ROB HOOD 2003


ARE YOU GOING OR WILL YOU STAY?

I’LL BE HERE, I WILL OBEY

I’M AT YOUR SIDE

I WILL NOT STRAY

AND I’LL REMAIN

TILL MY DYING DAY



WHEN YOU LEFT ME

I WAS DOWN

I WENT EVERYWHERE WITH A FROWN

DAYS WERE GLOOMY

THEY WERE GRAY AND BROWN

NOW YOU’RE BACK

AND WE’RE GOING TO TOWN



WHEN YOU LEFT ME I FELT SO SAD

I NEVER REALIZED ALL THAT I HAD

THAT YOU’D COME BACK AGAIN

WAS WHAT I PRAYED

MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED

NOW WE GOT IT MADE




I WAS HALF, YOU MADE ME WHOLE

STAYING TOGETHER FOREVER

NOW IS MY GOAL

YOU ARE IN MY HEART

YOU’RE IN MY SOUL

AND LOVING YOU IS MY ROLE



WHEN YOU LEFT ME I FELT SO SAD

I NEVER REALIZED ALL THAT I HAD

THAT YOU’D COME BACK AGAIN

WAS WHAT I PRAYED

MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED

NOW WE GOT IT MADE

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Skiing down Mt Everest



Skiing down Mt Everest© 3-29-11

When it's below thirty two degrees
I enjoy donning my skis
Off the mountain I will fly
And I pray that I won't die
When I collide with trees

Sunday, March 27, 2011

She was shy

She was shy© 3-27-11

A gal who was painfully shy
When approaching a cute fellow would cry
She thought her love was in vain
Because she was plain
But her big hooters made her desirable to his eye

He was shy

He was shy© 3-27-11

A man who was painfully shy
When approached by a woman would strand by
Away and aloof
Until he had proof
That the love of his life was a guy

What we heard I and 2 neighbors

What we heard I and 2 neighbors ©3-28-11
When Santa last landed on our roofs
I thought it was a series of big goofs
Because the noise that we heard
Seemed very absurd
It was a loud chorus of "Woofs"

Was that really Santa?

Was that really Santa?© 3-27-11


When Santa last landed on our roof
I thought it was a very big goof
Because the noise that I heard
Seemed very absurd
It was a loud chorus of "Woof"

Saturday, March 26, 2011

What do we expect from government?

What do we expect from government?© 3-26-11

It looks like the public in England are having a cow
Government budget cuts have caused them to avow
If government can't find a way for the dole to grow
They will feel a fervent need to overthrow
That government ala Lenin and Chairman Mao

Friday, March 25, 2011

I'm no vagabond

I'm no vagabond© 3-25-11

I'm happily living in my used car
It has no wheels, so I don't go far
For my great escape
I keep myself in shape
On the links, shooting for par

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Roman poet

The Roman poet© 3-24-11

A great poet named Horace
Lacked access to a thesaurus
But he could not be outdone
For of words he had a ton
So said his Roman chorus

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The careful young lady

The careful young lady© 3-23-11

She was just a little squirt
Always careful and alert
She looked about
And took route
On seeing the area's main pervert

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Weight Issues

Weight Issues© 3-22-11

I always wanted to be trim
In another words to be slim
But I have the wrong gene
If you know what I mean
That's why my body is filled to the brim

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Late for a date

Late for a date© 3-20-11

A fellow was terribly late
But he had a huge appetite to sate
After he left the table
He was truly able
To wow his lovely blind date

I love Netflix!

I love Netflix! ©3-20-11

I watch many things on my screen
Hilarious comedies and films obscene
When videos are streaming
I find all so redeeming
Wow! Look at them hooters on that teen

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary, ©2-22-11
I'm so happy! I just woke up and made it to another day!
Each morning as I arise from my bed
I'm filled with glee because I'm not dead!
A friend of mine told me she was queried whether she would like to be reborn if the opportunity was available. She reported to me that she would not like to be reborn because the world problems are so bad. I feel differently about that. I plan on living forever! So far, so good!
Well the weather here has gone back to being boring again! Last week's 6 consecutive days of 50 plus degree weather ruined all the fun! It's too bad! I'll miss falling down on the ice, heart palpitations when shoveling snow, and having my car stuck in the driveway!
Well that's all for now. I'll get back to you someday.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Say cheese!

Say cheese! ©3-19-11

Approaching my friend I began to freeze
After realizing he had just cut the cheese
He had created a bit of a spell
As I was overcome by the smell
And it was done with just one squeeze

Friday, March 18, 2011

Spare me some sympathy!

Spare me some sympathy!© 3-18-11

To all of you both vain and smug
I am not an evil-minded thug
I just need a trace
Of an embrace
Better known to you as a hug

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Cat Saga

Cat Saga© 3-15-11

I need some kitty litter
To gather deposits from my critter
She always chases a mouse
Out of our house
She's definitely no quitter

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The upset fellow

The upset fellow ©3-13-2011

A fellow was very upset
And stayed up long nights to fret
His sleepless hours
Caused him to lose his powers
To earn a living, so he went into debt

Out of the way

Out of the way ©Rob Hood 3-13-2011

I live in a place far out of the way
With no transportation to except by sleigh
For company online I often chat
Meeting old pals, I'll chew the fat
And learn a recipe for a great souffle

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Speed demon

I don't want my mail
To be at speed of a snail
I'll set my bead
On a faster speed
Before my news goes stale

Friday, March 11, 2011

The ox

I bought an ox
Down by the docks
So when I want to bake
A fancy gourmet steak
I'll take that ox out of my freezer box

Thursday, March 10, 2011

TV game shows

Spin that wheel
And make a deal
Watching TV makes me all aglow
From this very entertaining show
Now let's sit for a meal

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Yak defined

A Yak is a bull or a cow
In German a Herr and a Frau
They live in the hills
Where walking takes skills
And can be used to pull a plough

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Bungee Personality

He who uses a bungee cord
Doesn't have time to be bored
If the cord is a product of mistakes
And the d**n thing breaks
Into a funeral box, he'll be stored

Monday, March 7, 2011

Holding it?

My friend the Vicar
Could never hold his liquor
Each time he downed a beer
It became mighty clear
He was going to be sicker quicker

Sunday, March 6, 2011

The BIG dog




I know that this dog really sheds
I've seen him tear houses to shreds
He's not being mean
He just needs vaccine
To calm him when he arises from beds

The stylish lady

A gal who took pride in her style
Continually strode with a smile
There was no one could top her
She was a real connoisseur
and all her efforts were worthwhile