Sunday, February 27, 2011

Think ahead!

A gal who was rather a scold
Lately realized her strategy foretold
She felt totally above
All showing of love
Thus her relationship with her kids was cold

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

To poke or not to poke

I just saw "Lonesome Dove" and I want a poke.
I am serious. This is not a joke
I like the effects
Of a little sex
I'll need a lot more before I croak

Monday, February 21, 2011

It's understandable

A woman was trying to write
But it was noisy at that bomb site
She needed a room
Quiet as a tomb
So it was natural that she was uptight

A sad tale

A woman was trying to write
A saga about a potato blight
Because the spuds
Had all been duds
The Irish couldn't eat one bite

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The good part of aging

If people around are polled
They'll say I'm growing old
But it's really not so sad
That my memory's gone bad
I can repeat good times four fold

Monday, February 14, 2011

Feeling your pain

A woman was on a campaign
And her interest was not plain
To make gays and straights rearrange
In a way that was not strange
So they could discover each others pain

How not to create a zombie

A woman was on a mighty campaign
To reanimate the dead that were slain
She inserted much blood and fluids
After studying the lore of the Druids
But she entered it in the wrong vein

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Warren Buffett

Warren Buffett
Never told a president to “stuff it”
For every dollar he’d invest
A 2000 percent return passed his test

Happy Birthday daughter dear 2/12/11

Happy Birthday my sweet dear
Wishing you a happy year
One filled with so much good health and fun
That you'll feel pleasure when it's done

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dr Freud

Sigmund Freud
Was very annoyed
Anything he ever did
Was credited to his inner id

Miracle Attorneys

Bless the lawyers every one
For your fleecing has just begun
They'll bleed you dry
For a piece of the pie
They'll write a nice estate plan
And when the s**t hits the fan
Your death will enrich them
On a judgment in rem

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pre-Valentine's Day haiku

I love chocolates
Especially the nougats
Eat different ones

The tax lady

The tax lady was very beguiling
As she spoke she was always smiling
But alas and alack
I wish I could go back
And edit the information she was compiling

The meaning of "blue"

To many a "blue" limerick is perverse
It seems filled with hatred and curse
But if "blue" means sad
Well that's not so bad
then they'll need not be so adverse

Sunday, February 6, 2011


News on high

A man who reported the news
Saw things in unusual hues
Because what he was toking
Was better than cigarette smoking
He never ever got the blues

A man who reported the news
Was saddened by Obama's world views
He fails to support
Our friends like a sport
And has given America's interests a bruise

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Ouch, that hurt!

The ice that fell from the arena in Dallas
Was authentically shaped like a phallus
Some people who were near
Were struck in the rear
When they sit on the toilet they bear malice