Chain Gang Blues

Chain gang blues © by Rob Hood 12-6-2019

You all know my name is Mitch

I'm a real angry son of a bitch

Since I work very hard

Out there in the yard

And then I sleep in a ditch!

My Sciatica

My Sciatica by © Rob Hood
My sciatica gives me such pain
That I often walk with a cane
It makes me quite ill
Not cured by a pill
That I usually throw in the drain

The Felon's Lament

The Felon's Lament
by Rob Hood© November 16, 2017

Please don't send the police around
I am upset when I hear their sound
It makes me so nuts
I'll  vomit my guts
Because I can't accept being found

Keeping up on My Meds

Keeping up on My Meds © Rob Hood 5/26/17

I went to pharmacist Bill

To buy an important pill

I took it in one huge swallow

A big cup of water did follow

Now I'm in good health still

Out West

Out West © Rob Hood 5/12/17

Riding out on the plain

By horse, and not a train

It's a great pleasure

I do in my leisure

I feel like John Wayne

Contemplating my navel

Contemplating my navel © Rob Hood 5/9/17

On a night so serene

I know what they mean

I completely understand what is said

When they speak of how we're bred

It's a matter of the gene

Two short poems

I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor's office this morning and to keep from being bored to death, I wrote 2 short poems.  I hope that somebody likes them.

The voice of the medical assistant

Get yourself seated
Don't make me repeat it
You thought you'd fun
But that time is done
Even if you needed it


The voice of a sadist

Stick your middle finger
In the washer wringer
If your head's not in a cloud
You'll scream right out loud
And sound like a singer

The world needs poetry!

Oh if the world would exist without a poem
One would need to write a book like a tome
Words would need to flow
From my head to my toe
So I could reproduce them while I roam

Intelligence, not acquired

Intelligence, not acquired

By Rob Hood© 8-22-14

A young fellow with terrible taste

Swallowed gobs of library paste

He wanted to gain knowledge

While too poor for college

It went out as bodily waste.

She could see through his efforts

 She could see through his efforts

A woman was peeved at her mate…*
Who gave every reason  to hate
His each and every move
Though he tried to improve
All his efforts were light weight

Obsessions can be costly

 Obsessions can be costly

A fellow was very obsessed
With his need to be blessed
He had so very little hope
To be blessed by the pope
So he felt continually stressed

There's a new law against protesting

 There's a new law against protesting

Do you want to go to the Senate?  You can't anymore
With a negative sign, the law and the police will abhor
They don't care for your input, they don't want to know
All they for is their money and their standing should grow
So they'll fill you with spin
And they won't let you in

Drugs can mess you up

Drugs can mess you up

A woman was asked to explain
Why most of her family were insane
She told it long
As in a folk song
Which blamed it all on cocaine

The next drink politicians might ban

 The next drink politicians might ban
Coffee is my drink for today
If the FDA thinks it's okay
And if they ban
It's form in a can
I'll need to buy it in a spray

To all of you sending political humor

 To all of you sending political humor

Why can't we be funny with wit
And avoid all this political s**t
All it does is divide
Setting friends aside
I'd be happy if you just cooled it

Lawyers in love

 Lawyers in love
You give me premature ventricular contractions
You're so exciting that you cause these reactions 

 I usually fall short
At the appeals court
But you are a whiz at winning class actions

I'm curious, but yellow

I'm curious, but yellow
The Curiosity has landed on Mars
Continuing our gambit to the stars
Our country. can't be beat
All others take a back seat
Causing the opposition to have scars

Open or closed casket?

 Open or closed casket?
A fellow had made a mistake
Thought his gas was his brake
His car spun out of control
Now he's halved not whole
I hope they fix him for his wake

It's not real life

 It's not real life
Those dolls Barbie and Ken
Are produced in Phnom penh
They are inelastic
Made from plastic
Neither are women nor men

Whew it's hot!

 Whew it's hot!
My next door neighbor fell on his deck
He was sweaty and looked like a wreck
When it's hot
The time is not
To overdress and wear a turtle neck