Who am I? What is me?
What things about me can you see?
I love to hear a bit of whit
In my mind it seems to fit
With poetry I feel free!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Columbus discovers Columbus
When Columbus sailed the sea
Was he looking for Earl Gray tea?
He lost his way
At an Ohio quay
Sailing all his vessels three
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Do you have the blues?
If you are sadder
What's the matter
It's just a mood
So do not brood
Soon you'll feel gladder
What's the matter
It's just a mood
So do not brood
Soon you'll feel gladder
Custer's last stand revisited
A peacenik sold lemonade
While hiding in the shade
The fans cheered Custer
With all they could muster
But he lost his whole brigade
While hiding in the shade
The fans cheered Custer
With all they could muster
But he lost his whole brigade
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The secret of a happy marriage
These are the lines of my life
I am happily married to my wife
We sleep in separate rooms
As our friendship blooms
It's a pleasure bereft of strife!
I am happily married to my wife
We sleep in separate rooms
As our friendship blooms
It's a pleasure bereft of strife!
A fearful forecast
I dreamed about Attila the Hun
A leader who conquered and won
He defeated the Roman
I see the dream as an omen
For arming myself with a gun!
A leader who conquered and won
He defeated the Roman
I see the dream as an omen
For arming myself with a gun!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Assorted limericks
6/15/10
A pompous conductor named Claude
Led by a method that was flawed
As he raised his large baton
Whole groups he would con
Since they never guessed him a fraud.
A pompous conductor named Clyde
Stood close to the sea at high tide
When his baton was raised
People were always amazed
When they saw the seas start to divide
6/10/10
A fellow who had an affair
Never wore any underwear
When someone knocked on the door
He found dressing an impossible chore
So he left the place rather bare!
6/8/10
An infamous author named Gene
Was extremely callous and mean
He was a louse to his wife
For all their married life
Till she added arsenic to her cuisine.
6/3/10
A creative young woman named Ro
had to look high and low for a beau
Then she found an agreeable man
Who kept her treasures in a van
But he turned out to be a real shmoe!
5/27/10
A fellow who hated to clean
Angered his wife, Arlene
So he hired a young girl
Who did work in a swirl
Since she was juiced on caffein!
5/25/10
An elderly woman named Ellen
Wanted to circle the world
like Magellan
But she was too old
And not enough bold
To pay what the tourist
agent was sellen!
5/24/10
A hard-working fellow named Zeke…
Used to work every day of the week
But each night was for romance
And he would always dance
Together with his sweetheart
cheek to cheek!
5/20/10
A brassy old woman named Joan
Didn’t know corn from a pone
And when she ate grits
She most always had fits
Cause corn put her out of the zone.
5/12/10
A romantic young fellow named Will,
Used to bring his ladies to his still.
They greatly enjoyed his brew.
Made from the best mountain dew
which he tried very hard not to spill.
A pompous conductor named Claude
Led by a method that was flawed
As he raised his large baton
Whole groups he would con
Since they never guessed him a fraud.
A pompous conductor named Clyde
Stood close to the sea at high tide
When his baton was raised
People were always amazed
When they saw the seas start to divide
6/10/10
A fellow who had an affair
Never wore any underwear
When someone knocked on the door
He found dressing an impossible chore
So he left the place rather bare!
6/8/10
An infamous author named Gene
Was extremely callous and mean
He was a louse to his wife
For all their married life
Till she added arsenic to her cuisine.
6/3/10
A creative young woman named Ro
had to look high and low for a beau
Then she found an agreeable man
Who kept her treasures in a van
But he turned out to be a real shmoe!
5/27/10
A fellow who hated to clean
Angered his wife, Arlene
So he hired a young girl
Who did work in a swirl
Since she was juiced on caffein!
5/25/10
An elderly woman named Ellen
Wanted to circle the world
like Magellan
But she was too old
And not enough bold
To pay what the tourist
agent was sellen!
5/24/10
A hard-working fellow named Zeke…
Used to work every day of the week
But each night was for romance
And he would always dance
Together with his sweetheart
cheek to cheek!
5/20/10
A brassy old woman named Joan
Didn’t know corn from a pone
And when she ate grits
She most always had fits
Cause corn put her out of the zone.
5/12/10
A romantic young fellow named Will,
Used to bring his ladies to his still.
They greatly enjoyed his brew.
Made from the best mountain dew
which he tried very hard not to spill.
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