My morning ritual

My morning ritual

As I arise up in the morn
From my dreams of sex and porn
I find the need to work out
So my muscles I can flout
So where shall I tread today
After I finish my curds and whey
It's a quandary that I'm in
In an attempt to be healthy and thin
From a distance you may see
I'm in this world as an invitee

Cheap date

My wife was always a cheap date
Eating late was something she hate
A date made in heaven
If I had one, I'd taken seven
So you can see why she is my mate

My speedster days

I used to enjoy riding down the road lickity split
Riding that quickly takes a fair amount of grit
When I ran into a pole
I far exceeded my goal
And that is the reason that I had to quit

Get some rest!

You really need to learn to pass the ball
Some evenings when weary, but on-call
If you goof on a case
A life you may erase
And you can be sure your career will forestall

Hello coffee lovers

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
Who uses coffee to draw sketches obscene
He draws all through the night
While everyone else sleeps tight
That's why his countenance is green

There's a fellow who loves his caffeine
And he drank so he couldn't dream
His scary dreams at night
Caused him such a fright
That he had to act in extreme

My new strategy

I'm having trouble getting my clothes to fit
Some are so tight that they actually split
When I hear about a new strategy I try it
...I'm now going to try the see food diet
It's so simple, when I see food I eat it

What's your sign?

So tell me what's your sign?
I haven't a clue what's mine
I don't know astrology
Or any other mythology
Or when the planets align