Thoughts of a baseball pitcher

Yesah, Nosuh, I don't know which
The catcher seems uncertain when I pitch
Do I have the nerve
To throw a blooming curve
I need to develop a knuckle ball to have a niche

Too much of a good thing

Too much of a good thing

I ate at The Potato Mash
And saved a lot of cash
I ate many spuds
Beer and suds
Until I developed quite a rash

Noah's dilemma

Noah had an ark
That he couldn't park
With no marina near
His on sea career
Was about to go dark

Morning or Mourning

Morning or Mourning

Don't count on me if you die
I'm a bit too old to cry
I'm not a mourning person
Sadness makes me worsen
So I'll give you an advance good-bye


I like you
I really do
But I don't function well in the morning
It sneaks up on me without warning
And often I am blue

Beware of teenage beauties!

Some beautiful women are nothing but jail bait
Touch them and you'll be honored with a jail mate
You'll be doing time
For a statutory crime
And when you get out, you might not be straight

A guy in a polka dot tie

A guy in a polka dot tie
Had a job as a spy
As he worked out each intricate detail
He got further behind on his quail
And then everything went awry



A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt like he was about to die
With a staph infection
There was no injection
That anyone could apply

Wearing a tie

I wonder who created the need for a tie
I'd personally like to meet this guy
I really hate that knot
And any cravat ascot
I'd pop him one, right in the eye