Keeping up with the neighbors

A gal who was terribly vain
Was to her husband a ball and chain
She spent all his money
Bleak day or one sunny
For the appearance she could feign

Mr High and mighty

A man who was terribly vain
Drove those nearby insane
He felt he was blessed
And well above the rest
And if help was needed he'd abstain

It's snowing!

Oh where oh where can I take a dump?
That's snow I mean, I got you chump
I've broken my shovel
Outside of my hovel
And I'm certain that I need a vacuum pump

Pet photos

My dogie's picture is blurred
Because he looked up at a bird
Trying hard to get him to sit
Gave the photographer a fit
And I heard him say a curse word

Pre-Pre-Nup

A lawyer said to his date
Sign here, i just can't wait
You'll have to agree
Not to sue me
If our relationship doesn't go great

The trials of an unlikeable fellow

A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
Fell through the ice while ice skating
He yelled and he screamed
And he got rather steamed
Because people nearby stood waiting

A comment about Diane Rehm

A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Found NPR's Diane Rehm worth dating
But as the information grew
There were more then a few
In the audience who wished a correction procedure
before mating.