Better late then never

A fellow was late for his train
Had too much going on in his brain
His driving got wild
And later he was riled
When his car was smashed up by a crane

A fellow was late for his train
Thought his future was down the drain
But his lateness avoided a collision
Which could meant a circumcision
So he really didn't have a reason to complain

A fellow was late for his train
Gave his boss the best excuse he could feign
The reason he was late
Was the train had to wait
After the engineer had a chest pain

A fellow was late for his train
Rapidly drove his car in the rain
When he hit a tree
His soul burst free
Of his earthly body and brain

A fellow was late for his train
Took a flight into Bahrain
Where he discovered oil
Deep in the desert soil
But the locals took it by eminent domain

A fellow was late for his train
Distilled alcohol from grain
He wasn't worried
And never hurried
Cause the fumes damaged his brain