A limerick in honor of Mothers Day

A hard-working mother named May
Had very little time for play
Although she worked very hard
Her disposition was not marred
So she felt very pleased every day

Another limerick 5/3/10

An eccentric soprano named Brett
Used to cap underwater oil wells on a bet
And it is really so sad
her abilities have gone bad
So Gulf Coast needs can't be met

Assorted limericks by moi

5/3/10
An eccentric soprano named Brett
Voted for every politician she met.
She voted for Herr Obama
and despite all the trauma
She didn't have any regret

4/25/10
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Went fishing with scorpion as bait
She liked things her exotic
Twas something hypnotic
When it stung she didn’t feel great.

4/19/10
A miserly fellow name Joe
Had a fall and injured his toe
It took a turn bad
And was quite sad
Cause when the docs
wanted to operate
he said, no.

4/14/10

There once was a baker, Lenore
who cultured yeast into something more
As she started to drink
she lost her ability to think
And couldn’t tell the ceiling from the floor

4/7/10
A symphony cellist named Kate
Grew bigger from the food she ate.
When eating a whole veal
Met he requirements for a meal.
She used her kitchen table as a plate

4/2/10
An unemployed person named Nick
When working usually took sick
He excelled in excuses
He used many ruses
Cause working was not a scene he’d pick

3/23/10
A woman whose hair was quite gray,
Was opinionated with lots to say
She’d talk a blue streak
Endlessly each week
As she frightened her beaus away.

3/17/10


There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air
and I have a peaceful feeling, quite rare
Though bullets may fly
in both June and July
On my spring vacation I haven’t a care.

I apologize!

I apologize! by Rob Hood©2-2-10

I'm sorry for the wretched way that i acted.

For all the anger and sadness my words impacted.

If I could only go back in time

and delete my words of dirt and grime,

I could have avoided making you sad

I'd feel much better, yes I'd be glad!

But alas that cannot be.

So you can see the idiot that's me.

Aging gracefully

Aging gracefully by Rob Hood© 9-22-09

Growing old can be such a pain

When there are many signs of rain

So keep yourself forever nimble

Make great health your symbol

Join my "Keep Healthy" campaign!

I'll put this frankly!

I'll put this frankly! by Rob Hood© 7-22-09

A very strange fellow named Frank

took a potion to make himself

bigger, but he shrank!

He complained to it's maker

who professed he shouldn't

have been it's taker.

He had a mix up in

prescriptions to thank!

A few limericks

A joke in the making by Rob Hood©7-10-09

Al Franken was never funny on Saturday night.

His humor was not very bright.

But I think that he'll begin

to give me a grin

when he appears on the C-SPAN site!


Hareless in Gaza by Rob Hood© 7-10-09


There once was a guy with no hair

Oh his pate was completely bare!

He never used a comb.

That utensil had no home.

It definitely had no use up there!

June Down The Drain by Rob Hood© 7-10-09

Oh when will the rain ever wane?

One would think that God would abstain

from taking a tinkle.

I’ll bet that’s a new wrinkle!

Until the water goes down the drain!


My Advice To Spammers by Rob Hood© 7-10-09

Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed

to stop sending messages that prove

to us your greed!

You fill me with malice

because your sends are so callous!

To my spam filter I wish you godspeed!

Agency Ode by Rob Hood© 7-10-09

There once was an agent, quite tough

who made feel like I never got enough.

When I negotiated with him

my brain would begin to spin

and now it’s turning to fluff!

Crotchety Ode by Rob Hood© 7-10-09

A crotchety fellow named Rich

Was diagnosed with terminal itch

He searched for a way

that he’d feel okay

But he decided his life was a bitch