At my leisure by Rob Hood©5-20-09
I'M SITTING HERE IN THE SHADE
NOT FOLLOWING ANY ORDERS
THAT ARE BADE.
I'M ALONE AND I AM FREE
ENJOYING EVERYTHING
THAT I SEE!
MOMENTS LIKE THIS
ARE FULL OF GRACE
MAKING MY WORLD
A HAPPIER PLACE!
I ENJOY EACH
LITTLE PLEASURE
AS I SIT HERE
AT MY LEISURE!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
The New Math by Craig Damrauer
MAYBE = YES/NO +NO/YES
PATERNITY = WHAT + ARE YOU SURE?
NAGGING = REMINDING + REMINDING + REMINDING\
GRANDMA = WISDOM/BATTINESS
DEADBEAT DAD= PATERNITY/RESPONSIBILITY
UNCLE = DAD + FUN
NIHILISM = EXISTENCE/EXISTENXE X 0
DISAPPOINTMENT = EXPECTATION/REALITY
TV DINNER = THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS/4 + DESSERT
ONIONS = WEEPING - CATHARSIS
RAISIN = GRAPE + TIME
DOG = CAT + LOYALTY
RAT = (MOUSE X 4) - CUTE
LOVE = LIKE X LIKE
SANTA CLAUS = THE TOOTH FAIRY + 250 POUNDS
TRICK OR TREAT = EXTORTION + OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE?
HANDBALL = RACQUETBALL - RACKET
THE WEATHER FORECAST = PARTLY RIGHT +PARTLY WRONG +/- 50%
SILENCE =
CAR ALARM = THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF + AMPLIFICATION
ARTHRITIS = YOUR HANDS + THE WEATHER FORECAST
DEATH + NAP + FOREVER
WEDDING RING = METAPHOR - 400 BUCKS
PIRATE = THIEF + BOAT + BANDANNA - LEG
PONZI SCHEME = ROI -R- I
SECRET SAUCE = KETCHUP + MAYO + SOMEONE WITH A REAL BIG MOUTH
DIVORCE = MARRIAGE/2
NEPOTISM = WHO'S YOUR DADDY?/ABILITY
ANGER = TICKED OFF X 3
IGNORANCE = IT/ WHAT I KNOW ABOUT IT
HAPPY = UNHAPPY- UN
CLAUSTROPHOBIA = YOU/SPACE
CRAZY = TALKING TO ONESELF - (CELL PHONE + EAR PIECE)
TAXES = YOUR PAYCHECK/ (ROADS + WARS + SCHOOLS) X BUREAUCRACY
LAUGHTER = HA X 3
PARALLEL PARKING = BUMPER CARS - AMUSEMENT PARK
SPEED BUMP = SLOW DOWN + TOO LATE
PREQUEL = SEQUEL - 2
TRUTH = WHAT I THINK HAPPENED/ WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
BULLY = A JERK - 1 GOOD ASS KICKING
INTERNSHIP = SHITWORK + COLLEGE CREDIT
GOOD MEETING = TIME SAVED/ TIME WASTED + SNACKS
PATERNITY = WHAT + ARE YOU SURE?
NAGGING = REMINDING + REMINDING + REMINDING\
GRANDMA = WISDOM/BATTINESS
DEADBEAT DAD= PATERNITY/RESPONSIBILITY
UNCLE = DAD + FUN
NIHILISM = EXISTENCE/EXISTENXE X 0
DISAPPOINTMENT = EXPECTATION/REALITY
TV DINNER = THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS/4 + DESSERT
ONIONS = WEEPING - CATHARSIS
RAISIN = GRAPE + TIME
DOG = CAT + LOYALTY
RAT = (MOUSE X 4) - CUTE
LOVE = LIKE X LIKE
SANTA CLAUS = THE TOOTH FAIRY + 250 POUNDS
TRICK OR TREAT = EXTORTION + OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE?
HANDBALL = RACQUETBALL - RACKET
THE WEATHER FORECAST = PARTLY RIGHT +PARTLY WRONG +/- 50%
SILENCE =
CAR ALARM = THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF + AMPLIFICATION
ARTHRITIS = YOUR HANDS + THE WEATHER FORECAST
DEATH + NAP + FOREVER
WEDDING RING = METAPHOR - 400 BUCKS
PIRATE = THIEF + BOAT + BANDANNA - LEG
PONZI SCHEME = ROI -R- I
SECRET SAUCE = KETCHUP + MAYO + SOMEONE WITH A REAL BIG MOUTH
DIVORCE = MARRIAGE/2
NEPOTISM = WHO'S YOUR DADDY?/ABILITY
ANGER = TICKED OFF X 3
IGNORANCE = IT/ WHAT I KNOW ABOUT IT
HAPPY = UNHAPPY- UN
CLAUSTROPHOBIA = YOU/SPACE
CRAZY = TALKING TO ONESELF - (CELL PHONE + EAR PIECE)
TAXES = YOUR PAYCHECK/ (ROADS + WARS + SCHOOLS) X BUREAUCRACY
LAUGHTER = HA X 3
PARALLEL PARKING = BUMPER CARS - AMUSEMENT PARK
SPEED BUMP = SLOW DOWN + TOO LATE
PREQUEL = SEQUEL - 2
TRUTH = WHAT I THINK HAPPENED/ WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
BULLY = A JERK - 1 GOOD ASS KICKING
INTERNSHIP = SHITWORK + COLLEGE CREDIT
GOOD MEETING = TIME SAVED/ TIME WASTED + SNACKS
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A quiet moment
A quiet moment by Rob Hood©5-2-09
I approached a quiet stream
where I could sit alone and dream
of all the good within my life.
All those pleasant times
with my wife!
The water bubbled
and it was weird
because so many
different fish appeared.
They were of varied colors
both dark and bright.
I sensed them saying
"Try fishing, I will bite!"
But I hardly had any pep.
I was afraid to move.
To take a step.
I didn't want to
break my mood
because it felt so perfect
so very good!
I approached a quiet stream
where I could sit alone and dream
of all the good within my life.
All those pleasant times
with my wife!
The water bubbled
and it was weird
because so many
different fish appeared.
They were of varied colors
both dark and bright.
I sensed them saying
"Try fishing, I will bite!"
But I hardly had any pep.
I was afraid to move.
To take a step.
I didn't want to
break my mood
because it felt so perfect
so very good!
A day in the life
A day in the life by Rob Hood©5-2-09
Will the nodules shrink or rise?
Will I be sad or have
a happy surprise?
Please God, let
the medicine work!
I love life!
Let this be my perk!
Every day
I'm pleased to be alive!
It seems like just yesterday
that I arrived
upon this planet
and all it's glory.
Where I was before
is another story.
Will the nodules shrink or rise?
Will I be sad or have
a happy surprise?
Please God, let
the medicine work!
I love life!
Let this be my perk!
Every day
I'm pleased to be alive!
It seems like just yesterday
that I arrived
upon this planet
and all it's glory.
Where I was before
is another story.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Go Tigers
Go Tigers by Rob Hood©3-26-09
I hope the Missouri Tigers win
as they attack their foes
with a defensive spin!
Winning by forcing turnovers
is their game.
Wearing down foes
is their aim.
Coach Mike Anderson has the plan
and he has convinced our team
that if they ran
they'd wear down Memphis
to the bone
causing their fans
to rant and moan.
Tormenting their players
with defensive flare
on their coach's face
will be a negative glare
as we move on in the madness
They'll fill my heart
with supreme gladness!
I hope the Missouri Tigers win
as they attack their foes
with a defensive spin!
Winning by forcing turnovers
is their game.
Wearing down foes
is their aim.
Coach Mike Anderson has the plan
and he has convinced our team
that if they ran
they'd wear down Memphis
to the bone
causing their fans
to rant and moan.
Tormenting their players
with defensive flare
on their coach's face
will be a negative glare
as we move on in the madness
They'll fill my heart
with supreme gladness!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Spring is here!
Spring is here! by Rob Hood©3-24-09
I love the season when plants start to flower
although there will be precipitation
in the form of a shower.
It is a season when blooming springs.
A rebirth of nature that each April brings.
I spot a fat robin eating worms.
What a sight!
That it discovered while in flight.
There is no better season for me!
Beholding a beautiful show
that is free!
I love the season when plants start to flower
although there will be precipitation
in the form of a shower.
It is a season when blooming springs.
A rebirth of nature that each April brings.
I spot a fat robin eating worms.
What a sight!
That it discovered while in flight.
There is no better season for me!
Beholding a beautiful show
that is free!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Word Games
Word Games by Rob Hood©3-11-09
I love word games of all climbs.
They keep my mind limber
so I can continue to write rhymes.
I do well when letters are in order
as they follow down an
alphabetized corridor.
It's fun to solve letters
in a scramble
Their solution
is my preamble.
To some puzzles
put them in a quandary.
But for me
they set my mind free!
I love word games of all climbs.
They keep my mind limber
so I can continue to write rhymes.
I do well when letters are in order
as they follow down an
alphabetized corridor.
It's fun to solve letters
in a scramble
Their solution
is my preamble.
To some puzzles
put them in a quandary.
But for me
they set my mind free!
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